


who knows what it costs

by wawayaga



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Fear of animals, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, dog park, kimbap - freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:00:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28166649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wawayaga/pseuds/wawayaga
Summary: changgu's dog wants to meet shinwon and finally gets his chance
Relationships: Ko Shinwon/Yeo Changgu | Yeo One
Comments: 22
Kudos: 49
Collections: Constellations Fest for Pentagon





	who knows what it costs

**Author's Note:**

> link to the sequel in the end notes!

Shinwon doesn’t like dogs. This is the lie he tells people. Shinwon is afraid of dogs. This is the truth.

His friends think it’s funny that someone as tall and broad as he is flinches away from animals on the street. They roll their eyes when he shakes his foot at the stray cat that lives in the alley next to the GS25 they frequent, trying to keep it from rubbing against his legs to say ‘hello, please scratch my chin.’ 

Aside from the cat at the convenience store, animals don’t really factor into his day to day interactions with a lone exception. There’s a dog at the park that’s capital d Determined to meet him and he really doesn’t understand why. He never gets stopped on the street to give directions, no one ever asks him to watch their things at the coffee shop. He doesn’t have what most people would call an open or friendly face. 

But without fail, the fat little dog tries to tug its way over to Shinwon and every day Shinwon shrinks away from it with a frown. He doesn’t think it’s aggressive, he’s seen other people stopping to pet it and it seems fine. He guesses the dog just doesn’t like _him_. The feeling is mutual. He’s fine with it. 

\--

They don’t like each other, so he’s confused when he realizes the tap on his knee is a paw. He’s at the park and is startled out of his reverie by a dog pawing at his leg. When he looks down he sees that it’s the Corgi, sitting flat on its butt, all four legs sticking straight out in front like it’d been tipped on end. They regard each other for a moment before the dog gives a soft _wuff_ and taps his knee again. 

He very slowly pulls his legs up to the bench out of reach of the dog. 

“I don’t know what you want, dog,” he tells it. The dog does not respond, just opens its mouth in a doggy smile and lets its tongue loll out. 

“I don’t like dogs, you know,” Shinwon says, voice going firmer as he pulls his legs closer to his chest. The dog does not respond. “You don’t like me either so why-”

He’s about to finish his thought when the dog suddenly turns its head and lets out a louder bark. Shinwon sees someone running towards them, can faintly hear them yelling “ _kimbap_!” the Corgi barks again as the man gets closer. 

“Kimbap, oh my god you scared me,” the man says falling to his knees next to the dog and gathering it in his arms. Shinwon winces at the sight of him rubbing his face into the dog’s neck. 

The man finally releases the creature and Shinwon gets a look at his face. He’s cute. He’s _very_ cute, Shinwon realizes when the man looks up at him, noticing him there on the bench for the first time. 

“Thank you so much for finding him, he slipped his harness and ran off, I was so worried,” it all comes out in a rush and Shinwon just looks at him, mouth open. 

“His name is Kimbap?” Is all he can think to say. Hearing his name, Kimbap swings his head back toward Shinwon and wuffs. 

“Yes! This is Kimbap and I’m Changgu. We see you walking sometimes,” Changgu tells him and then flushes. “Not that we- not that _I_ watch you or anything, I can’t speak for him I don’t know what he looks at, the ducks mostly I guess. He likes to chase them. Well he tries to but I don’t let him- that would be cruel to the ducks. Although he thinks it’s cruel to _him_ but he thinks bathtime is cruel so I don’t know if he’s a good moral compass.” 

Shinwon isn’t sure if Changgu has taken a breath since he asked about the dog’s name. Kimbap just looks at him like _I know, right?_ and Shinwon can’t help but huff out a laugh. Changgu cuts his next sentence off short and smiles up at Shinwon, beams really. Shinwon feels something behind his ribs tighten. He hopes it’s indigestion. 

“I’m sorry if he bothered you, I know you don’t like him very much. He seems really determined to meet you though. I think he likes you as much as he likes the ducks,” Changgu smiles again at this. 

“No it’s okay. I don’t-” Shinwon stops to think about how to phrase himself. “I don’t _not_ like dogs. I’m um. Very afraid of animals,” he finishes. 

Changgu gasps and moves so Kimbap is behind him. It’s a different reaction than Shinwon is used to. Most of the time people look at him like he’s joking and try to convince him that he’s too big to be afraid of anything or try to get him to pet whatever animal it is. He’s not used to people accommodating his fear. 

“Oh! That’s not what I thought you were going to say at all! I’m so sorry I can go if-”

“No you’re fine. He’s cute,” Shinwon says it like a question and Changgu smiles. 

“That means a lot coming from you,” Changgu says and blushes immediately. “I mean, I just meant you’re afraid of dogs so I didn’t think you’d think he was cute but.” Changgu closes his eyes and Shinwon can see him take a deep breath. He opens his eyes and starts again. 

“Thank you for saying he’s cute, he’s a really good boy and I love him very much. Do you want to pet him? He doesn’t bite, I promise.” Changgu offers, bringing Kimbap from behind his back and settling him in his lap. 

Shinwon doesn’t _want_ to pet this dog but he _does_ want to see Changgu’s smile again. He thinks he can swallow around his heart pounding in his throat if it means he gets to see Changgu smile again. He’s reaching his hand out slowly- very slowly- when Changgu speaks up again. 

“Well, that’s not true but he’s not in your lap so it should be fine.”

Shinwon pulls his hand back to his chest quick as a shot. 

“No! I mean okay he does this thing where if he’s laying on your chest he puts your nose in his mouth? He doesn’t bite or anything, I think he thinks it’s a game,” Changgu explains. 

Shinwon squints down at Changgu and then shifts his gaze to Kimbap. 

“Please do not put my hand in your mouth, Kimbap,” he says reaching out again with a sigh. Kimbap winks at him. He tries not to take it personally. 

\--

Shinwon doesn’t like dating. This is the lie he tells people. Shinwon is afraid of dating. This is the truth. 

If asked, he would tell you that there were three formative moments in his life. Number one, waking up as a kid to find his beloved pet hamster dead in his bed. Number two, finally admitting to liking a girl in high school only for her to find out and loudly proclaim during lunch that she would never date him because he had small hands and, well, you know what _that_ means. Number three, hearing Story of My Life by One Direction for the first time in college. 

The first lead to his fear of animals, which, if he was absolutely totally 4 am honest, wasn't a fear of animals but a fear of _hurting_ them. The second lead to a fear of ever letting anyone know his feelings. The third lead to the realization that ‘ _huh, maybe I’m_ **_gay_** _gay_.’ 

He lays in bed later that night wondering what he’d done to deserve all of these things to slam together and coalesce into what had been his afternoon. He was gay and he might have….feelings for someone with a dog. _Feelings might be a strong word_ he thinks to himself and maybe that was fair and true but he also didn’t know how else to describe the swooping feeling he felt in his stomach whenever Changgu laughed. Shinwon would be first in line to tell you that swooping is bad. Normally. This time though Shinwon wondered if it might finally be time for that whole opening-yourself-up-to-new-experiences thing Hyunggu was always telling him he should do. 

He’d done one new thing: petting Kimbap. The dog hadn’t done anything terrible to him, he hadn’t done anything terrible to the dog. When he’d rubbed him between the ears Kimbap had simply looked at him and then licked his hand. If Shinwon had yelped, that was between him, Changgu, Kimbap and the family of five that stopped to look at him when it happened. 

“He really does like you,” Changgu told him. “He never kisses on the first date.”

 _What about you?_ Shinwon had wanted to ask. _Do_ you _kiss on the first date?_ But one new thing a day was enough. 

“That was good though! Not too bad right?” 

“Not too bad,” Shinwon agreed. 

They’d parted with a promise to see each other tomorrow. Changgu bundling Kimbap into his arms and standing, waving Kimbap’s paw as they left. Shinwon smiled again at the memory. He might be fucked. 

But was that a bad thing? Shinwon’s entire life up until this point had been led by fear and maybe he was tired of it. His friends were all in long term relationships and sometimes they told him how lucky he was to not have to be expected anywhere at a certain time, that he could stay out at the bars later. 

Maybe he was, sometimes. But he was starting to wonder if freedom and loneliness didn’t go hand in hand more often than people thought. If coming home to an empty apartment every night was a fair exchange for not having to share closet space with someone. Shinwon sighed into his pillow and covered his face with his duvet. It might finally be time to get over it. 

\--

It’s raining when Shinwon gets off work and damn near a deluge by the time he makes it to the park. He almost misses Kimbap tugging Changgu toward him as he squints through the rain trying to understand what he’s seeing. 

“Hi.” Changgu is breathless in front of him, his head tipped back to look at Shinwon from under the hood of his yellow slicker falling down over his brow. 

“Hi,” Shinwon says blinking rain out of his eyes. He didn’t have an umbrella and the bag he held over his head was less than waterproof. 

They stand there, staring at each other, getting soaked until there’s a clap of thunder and Kimbap barks. Shinwon looks down to see that he and Changgu are in matching raincoats. 

“Hey do you want to come over? Get dry? My apartment is only a street over, you could wait out the storm before you go home if you want,” Changgu looks nervous, like he’s asking Shinwon for something important. 

He’s about to say no, say that he had somewhere to be, that he would take Changgu up on it later, but then Shinwon thinks about the realization he’d had the night before. He’s never gonna be able to clear out a drawer in his dresser if he doesn’t take that first step into trusting someone. 

“Yeah. Yeah I’d love to come over,” he says and Changgu grins. 

\--

Changgu’s apartment is cozy; the couch is large, the rug is shag and Shinwon can tell it’ll squish so wonderfully under his toes. 

He stands to the side, dripping onto the parquet waiting for Changgu to hang his and Kimbap’s raincoats on a hook by the door. When he’s done, Changgu turns to Shinwon and claps his hands. 

“I’ll grab you some dry clothes and a towel for your hair, the bathroom is just there,” he points down the hall to an open door. 

Shinwon steps carefully through the apartment, trying not to drip too badly across the living room. When he makes it into the bathroom he peels off his socks and sets them on the side of the sink. 

“I hope these fit, you’re a little bigger than me but,” Changgu hands over a pile and Shinwon takes stock of what he’d said. He _is_ bigger than Changgu, taller and certainly broader. Now that he thought about it, Changgu looked like he’d fit perfectly under Shinwon’s arm. Not that he was thinking about it. 

“Anything is better than y’know,” Shinwon says, gesturing down to his sopping jeans. “Thanks. You didn’t have to do this.” 

“I couldn’t leave you out there. Come on let’s get changed and I’ll make us something to eat,” Changgu smiles and closes the door behind him. 

Shinwon scrubs over his hair with the towel and scowls at his reflection when he sees the way it’s left standing. He dresses and washes his hands, drapes his clothes over the empty towel rack. The joggers Changgu gave him are a little short and the crewneck a little tight across his shoulders but it’s only until his clothes dry, he figures. 

He finds Changgu in the kitchen and almost chokes at the sight of him in a shirt with the sleeves cut off. He’d known Changgu was lean but the way his arms were corded and flexed as he filled a pot at the sink had something hot stirring in Shinwon’s belly. He must make a noise because Changgu turns around and there’s that smile again. Shinwon runs a nervous hand through his bangs, pushes them off his face. 

“Do you um, need help?” He tries. 

“That’s alright. Is kkotgetang okay? I was gonna make it for dinner anyway and there’s more than enough for two.” 

“Oh, my dad used to make it for me. That’d be really nice. Are you sure I can’t help?” Shinwon asks again. 

“If you really want to, you can do the rice. The cooker’s over there,” Changgu nods towards the other end of the counter. 

They settle into an easy silence while they work and when he’s done Shinwon sits at the table and watches Changgu move around the kitchen. He looks so at ease, Shinwon thinks. He’d never been much of a cook, could manage a few things, jjigae and pajeon but mostly relied on either the microwave or takeout. He says as much. 

“Do you cook often?” He asks. 

“Yeah, my mom was really adamant when I was young that I be able to feed myself. She didn’t want me to have to find a woman to cook for me. Which was just as well, I don’t plan on finding a woman to do much of anything for me,” Changgu laughs to himself. 

That’s one question answered then. Shinwon hadn’t been sure if Changgu was queer or just friendly, turns out he was both. 

“So, scared of animals, huh? Did petting Kimbap help at all?” Changgu asks as he stirs the stew. 

“Maybe? I had an accident with my pet hamster when I was a kid. I’ve avoided animals ever since. Like, I know it was a fluke and that I probably didn’t have anything to do with it but I’m afraid to hurt them, you know? I know I’m a big person, they’re small and frail and it’s easy to make mistakes.” He picks at his nails to avoid Changgu’s eye. 

“I can understand that. I meant what I said yesterday though, Kimbap is a good boy, really polite and very sturdy. Just. You know. If you wanted to work on that. Start with someone small and go from there,” Changgu turned back to the stove. “My friend Wooseok has a Great Dane if you wanna try something bigger.” 

Shinwon flinches at the idea. He didn’t want to hurt anyone but he didn’t want anyone to hurt _him_ either. 

Changgu looks apologetic. 

“I was only joking. We can change the subject if you want,” he says. 

“What do you do?” Shinwon asks. “Besides swan around the park with your dog and invite strangers up to your apartment for stew, I mean.” 

“ _Swan_ ?” Changgu chokes on a laugh. “Kimbap, do you hear that? He says we _swan_.” There’s an answering bark from the living room. 

“Everyone there must know you, I think I was the last to meet you.”

“Not for lack of trying,” Changgu tells him, a shy smile on his face. “Like I said, Kimbap really wanted to meet you.”

Shinwon really likes the way Changgu’s mouth settles into that little smirk, like he was trying to keep himself from grinning. He decides to go for it, both feet. 

“Yeah? And what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Did you want to meet me too?”

Changgu’s quiet for a long moment and Shinwon is cursing himself for putting his foot in it. 

“You know, when I got Kimbap everyone told me I’d find a partner within the month,” he finally says. “That’s not why I got him of course but still. Everyone said dogs were magnets for that sort of thing. So you can imagine my surprise,” Changgu tells him, adding the crabs to the pot. “When the one guy I wanted to notice me all but ran away from us twice a day, every day.”

Shinwon feels his brain stutter to a stop. Changgu had _noticed him_ noticed him? Hadn’t just thought he was some rude fuck at the park? 

When he looks up Changgu is leaning back against the counter watching him process. 

“You-” Shinwon doesn’t know how to finish. 

“I.” Changgu is smirking at him, Shinwon can see the mischief in his eyes and he wants to know what that means. God he wants to know what that means.

It must show on his face because Changgu laughs and goes to the cabinet for dishes. 

“There’s time for that. Let’s eat first,” he says. 

\--

The kkotgetang is amazing and Shinwon can’t stop telling Changgu so. 

“Seriously, it’s even better than my dad’s.” 

“Is he a good cook?” 

“He’s not bad but anything is better than my mom’s cooking,” Shinwon tells him and Changgu laughs. “What about you, do you have any siblings?” 

Changgu nods around a bite of rice and swallows. 

“An older sister,” he tells Shinwon. 

Shinwon tells Changgu about _his_ older sister, they talk about where they each grew up, what they do for a living. Shinwon finds himself relaxing into the conversation like it’s something they do every day. Changgu is easy to talk to and he makes Shinwon laugh. They have more in common than he’d thought although he’s scandalized to hear that Changgu has never seen Lord of the Rings. 

“Never? You’re joking,” he has a hand held to his chest. 

“I’m more into dramas and musicals,” Changgu tells him, standing to clear the table. 

“We could make a night of it. If you want,” Shinwon offers. 

Changgu has that shy smile on again, “I’d really like that. Do you have any plans tonight?”

It’s a Friday and Shinwon feels like he should probably lie to seem less lame but he’d talked to Changgu about his biggest fear and even gave him the story behind it, he knows how lame he is already and seems to like him anyway. 

“No, I’m all yours,” he says and Changgu looks at the floor to hide his smile.

“Well don’t say _that_.” 

“Why not? It’s true.” Shinwon really loves Changgu’s smile, loves that he can see him starting to turn red. He walks over to where Changgu is still standing by the sink. “What did you have in mind?”

“I was _going_ to suggest a movie. One for one, you know.”

“The way you say that makes it sound like you have something else in mind now.”

Changgu’s turning so so red and Shinwon wants to kiss that smile off his face. So he does. He presses Changgu into the counter and there’s hands at his hips immediately pulling him in closer. It’s a bit of a mess, they’re both still smirking and it makes their teeth clack but they get there. Shinwon tilts his head and steadies Changgu with a hand to the back of the head and their mouths are slotting together and it’s everything he wanted it to be. 

“Is this more of what you had in mind?” Shinwon pulls away to ask. Changgu’s eyes are still closed, lips parted. He’s so fucking beautiful. 

“Yeah. Yeah it is,” Changgu’s voice is quiet. He’s still got Shinwon’s, well, his own shirt balled in his fists and it’s pulling up on Shinwon’s belly. Changgu leans in and catches Shinwon’s mouth again, Shinwon presses in closer. He bites at Changgu’s lip and there’s nails scratching under his sweatshirt at his skin and it all moves fast from there. 

Changgu pushes away from the counter and walks them backward through the kitchen, through the living room and then Shinwon is falling onto the bed. He spreads his knees so Changgu can fit between them. 

“Is this okay? I know we don’t _know_ each other but,” Changgu pulls back to ask. 

Shinwon barely stops himself from rolling his eyes. 

“Changgu you could tell me you did this five times a day and I’d still want you.” Shinwon scoots further onto the bed and Changgu looks down at him. 

“You’re so much better than I expected,” he tells Shinwon. 

“Yeah? Get back down here and let me show you how good I am.”

Changgu pulls at Shinwon’s shirt until he’s sitting back up and together they try to tug it off. It gets stuck around Shinwon’s chin. 

“I didn’t think it was gonna be this small,” he says, voice muffled. 

“If you didn’t want to kiss me you could’ve just said so. You don’t have to hide about it,” Changgu’s laughing and pulling and the neck is pulling Shinwon’s nose up like a pig face. 

Shinwon gets it off with a triumphant noise and looks at Changgu expecting to see him still smiling but he’s got a frown on. 

“I forgot you didn’t have anything under there. Your body is um. Very nice.” He’s still frowning at Shinwon’s nipples. 

“You look mad about it,” Shinwon says carefully. 

Changgu looks up at his face. 

“Oh no, not mad. Just wondering where to put my mouth first.”

Shinwon groans and pulls them together again, fits his hands on Changgu’s sides, presses his fingers into the spaces between his ribs. 

Changgu kisses the freckle on Shinwon’s throat, “do you know,” a kiss “how stupid” Shinwon can feel his tongue “this is?” 

He stutters out a laugh. 

“I’ve wanted to kiss it all day.”

“You should’ve,” Shinwon tells him. 

“I’ll make it up to you.” 

He doesn’t have time to come up with a response because then Changgu’s hand is dipping into his waistband and he’s fisting his cock and his hand is big and the pressure is good it’s so good. Shinwon chokes back a gasp. He feels Changgu smile into the side of his neck. 

“Better?”

“Best,” Shinwon whispers. 

He could ask for more, he could ask for a mouth or to be stretched open and fucked but something in the back of his mind is telling him there’s time for all that later, that he can have more next time. He lets Changgu work him till he finishes with a gasp pressed into Changgu’s shoulder. Shinwon tugs him back down into a kiss and rolls them over. He sees the way Changgu’s eyes dilate as he cages him in with his arms. He’s looking forward to exploring that later, but for now-

“Can I take this off?” Shinwon asks plucking Changgu’s tank between his fingers and gets a nod. His eyes widen as he takes in the expanse of Changgu’s chest, sees how defined his abs are. 

“Are you joking? You can’t be real,” Shinwon groans, leaning down to nip at Changgu’s collarbone. He kisses his way down Changgu’s stomach before sucking a kiss above his waistband. 

Shinwon barely hears Changgu whisper a please, they make eye contact and Changgu nods. Changgu’s not wearing underwear and Shinwon wonders if he’ll ever stop being surprised. 

“I’m um clean, for the record. But if you want a condom I can just-” Changgu gestures vaguely to the nightstand but Shinwon shakes his head. 

“It’s fine, I trust you,” and with that Shinwon licks a stripe up the underside of Changgu’s cock. 

“I’m not gonna last, Shinwon,” Changgu says with a hitch in his voice. 

“Next time,” he tells him before sucking him back down. 

Changgu is right, he _doesn’t_ last very long before he’s tugging at Shinwon’s hair trying to pull him off. Shinwon gives a few short tugs and Changgu is coming onto his stomach. He cleans him off with the discarded shirt and laughs when Changgu is making grabby hands to bring him back up to the bed. Changgu wraps around him when he finally settles. 

“You’re making this really hard for me,” Shinwon tells Changgu. 

“What’s that?” he asks, looking genuinely concerned. 

“I didn’t want to like you,” Shinwon says. “I’m not good at this,” he waves a hand between them. “But you make me want to be. Like you’re way way too good for me but,” he shrugs. 

“I’m not too _good_ for you, Shinwon,” Changgu laughs. “I’m the most boring man alive. I have like three friends and that’s _including_ Kimbap. I cry at musicals and I have a matching raincoat with my dog. I can’t believe I got to take you home but. I like you too so maybe we could like each other?”

Shinwon tucks Changgu closer. “Yeah, I think that could work.”

They lie there until there’s a tapping at the bedroom door; Shinwon doesn’t even remember closing it. 

“Oh! I have to feed Kimbap; sorry, it’ll only be a second,” Changgu tells him as he pulls on his pants. 

Shinwon steels himself to ask the question he really doesn’t want to ask. 

“Can I,” he closes his eyes. “Help?” 

Changgu turns to look at him, eyes wide. 

“I just- if this is gonna be a thing I’m gonna need to, you know,” Shinwon flaps his hands a bit. “Get used to being around him.”

Changgu’s smile takes up his whole face and Shinwon can’t help but smile back despite his nerves. 

“He’d really like that, Shinwon,” Changgu tells him. “I would really like that too.”

“Then let’s go,” Shinwon says. 

Shinwon is afraid. This is the truth. It'll be worth it. This is also the truth.   
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> this was so much fun!! thank you to the prompter, i hope i did you justice. 
> 
> very brief sequel here: https://wawayaga.dreamwidth.org/1284.html
> 
> @changgukah


End file.
